Although it's something that is generally accepted by employers, there are still some things we should know to make sure it doesn't cost us our job or income (and hey, we've just survived a recession, let's not lose our jobs over a bad relationship at work...)

Over the last few months, I've been hearing from professionals who have experienced romantic relationships with colleagues to discover some tips to make sure that your date doesn't spell disaster for your career. If you're in a relationship (or getting hot under the collar and about to start one) then here's some great advice, given by people who have been there and done it (and sometimes, regretted it...)

Have An Exit Strategy

OK, this isn't normally considered a good start to a relationship! True enough, though, several of the people I talked to mentioned that they wish they had thought of how they would end it before they got in too deep.

Before you begin a deeper relationship with a colleague, it's a good idea to consider how you will handle the situation if things come to a painful end. If need be, can you transfer somewhere else within the organization?

The main tip is to seriously consider how well your date (and yourself) can handle break-ups. Can you honestly describe both of you as emotionally mature? If not, then you should consider how a break up will lead you to behave, and what measures you will have to take to avoid fall-out.

Agree Rules

It's often helpful to lay down some rules that you and your date will honor, whilst at work. These should be to protect both of your jobs and productivity. These rules could control how you will both arrive and leave the office, or how you will both react if you're in a professional situation together. It's well worth establishing do's and don'ts to avoid embarrassment later.

Don't Date a Superior/Subordinate

Most employers are cool about dating your professional equal, but when it comes to dating a superior (someone on a higher level than you in the organization) or a subordinate (someone on a lower level than you in the organization), employers often apply massive pressure to close the relationship. Why? Well, for both you and your date, there is a conflict of interest. That is, the interests of your romantic relationship are often directly opposed to your professional relationship. If your colleagues were to find out, you or your date could be accused of favoritism. Not just that, but should things go wrong there is a potential to be charged with some kind of sexual harassment suit. And perhaps the most likely problem that will occur is that you will both find it difficult to concentrate on your jobs and productivity will suffer.

Avoid Office Communication

Most companies and corporations reserve the right to access and read all forms of office communication, including e-mail. Romantic messages between you and your date are, therefore, in the corporate domain. Which can be embarrassing if you're found out. Especially if it lands in the hands of unscrupulous people. If you really must communicate something personal to the person you're seeing, use your cellular phone or, best of all, wait until office hours or over. You don't want to be caught with your pants down, so to speak.

Don't Bring It Into The Office

Whatever you do, don't bring your relationship into the office. This includes discussing your relationship with other co-workers. Most importantly, don't engage in public displays of affection! It's unprofessional and cheesy, to be frank. It's OK to let others know you're dating after the relationship is 'established' (euphemistically termed, but in other words - once the lust has died down), but even then you should behave professionally at work.

On the flip-side, fighting with your date must be left outside the office doors. Even when tension is high, however, resist the urge to quarrel at work or you might be out of a job. This is especially true if your arguments get in the way of productivity.

Prepare for a Happy Ending

Perhaps I've painted a picture of doom and gloom for office romances. It's often written in employee newsletters and minor news items about co-workers taking the plunge into marriage. It does happen. Perhaps it will for you, and good on you if it does. Do prepare for it though. Remember, you may have been covering up your relationship for months or even years. Be prepared for the shock (and maybe anger) from you colleagues when they find out you've been deceiving them. And do check with company policy about spousal co-working - it's normally OK but in some workplaces it is against the rules and it would require you to re-locate or find alternative employment. I'm no lawyer (nor do I pretend to be) so have somebody competent to see where you stand.

Summary

It should be simple: use common sense. But I know, to be honest, that when in a romantic relationship at the office, common sense can go right out of the window. However, I do hope that you see the value in the advice I have provided above!

And I must admit, this article has been written from the perspective of hindsight. Apart from the last piece of advice, I broke all the other rules myself when dating my wife over 10 years ago!

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Flirting will always be the start of something special between a man and a woman. How to succeed with women? Here are five essential flirting moves to start with:

First, smile. Practice your smile in the mirror; make it bigger than usual so she would notice you.

Second, let her catch you looking. If you want her to know that you are interested in her, smile and hold your eye contact for a brief moment and then look away.

Third, start a conversation. You can try complementing something she has and asking what is the story behind it. An example would be "nice jacket, what's the story behind that?"

Fourth, hold an eye contact. In order to be an expert on how to succeed with women you want to make sure you are holding an eye contact while conversing with her some of the time.

Last but not the least, check her out. Men tend to overly do this most of the time. If you want to perfect how to succeed with women, checking out her body must be done properly. Do this by making eye contact and for a split second look down and up over her body then back to her eyes again. She must feel complimented not like a meat you want to eat.

For you to know exactly how to succeed with women, you must not be afraid to do these things. Who knows you might just win her affection in the long run with these simple yet smooth flirting moves.

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There's this common scenario I see when I'm at the bar or on a social function...

I meet a fellow man who is quite adept in attracting women and people in general. He's smiling and people around him are smiling. He can make women laugh with his stories and quick wit, and can ride the line of being provocative and shocking without being off putting. To add to that, the guy is always surrounded by men who look up to him, and yes he almost always has a chick on call.

No, he's not a pick up artist, he's just himself, and the common thing I hear is... "yeah that guy, he's a natural."

I know most of you guys reading this are probably envious of how guys like him can just seamlessly come up with interesting things to say on the fly and not have any "structured" way of attracting people yet can pull the art of charm off with fewer words than you can dish out.

So, let's talk about this "phenomenon" that is Natural Game and see how we learn from upbringing and experience as major factors on what makes a man a natural.

"Am I a Natural? "

The answer is YES, but that's a YES on certain aspects of your life, all of which is completely based on your UPBRINGING and LIFE EXPERIENCES. So, unfortunately, if you didn't have an upbringing like the one I'm gonna describe to you below (my own experience), its important to read on because I actually MAP OUT and classify the "natural attributes" that are successful with women and how I developed them.

Hint Hint... it's the same method even now that you're older.

#1 Natural Attribute: Curiosity

When I was a kid I was curious, and my parents didn't hinder me from continuously being curious. When I'd wander around the supermarket picking up random items I thought were colorful and nice, I was hardly spanked or refrained from doing so.

This developed into my natural skill of being inquisitive. One of my core values is that I'm a perpetual learner. I don't consider myself as a "know it all." When something catches my attention, or intrigues me, I don't have that ego wall to ask a woman about it.

#2 Natural Attribute: Creativity and Imagination

Another attribute that got developed was that I was creative. My parents highly encouraged creativity, and gave me enough toys, drawing and painting materials, and story books to run my imagination with. Years later, this developed into that natural edge in creativity when I expressed myself.

Creative people can flirt like the best of them. When you can run your own imagination wild, you can create pictures for women to imagine. Stories, analogies, metaphors, and humor come easy when you are trained to naturally imagine. For our major cardinal move, foreshadowing, being creative in your head counts.

I was riding with one of our instructors in Chicago, Uncle Dino on our way to this Italian Beef Spot in the suburbs of Schaumburg, when he spotted a pretty polish girl on the card beside us. If you haven't seen him imagine me with Tony Soprano (Uncle Dino is actually Sicillian btw)... so Wearing his Oakley-type orange lens sunglasses... he starts waving the shades up and down revealing his eyes and starts sticking his tongue out at the women, cunnilingus style!

Seriously, he's a real fat guy and is nowhere near a male model, but shit, women LOVE it when he does that. He's currently banging 3-4 hot women in his rotation. He's one of the most natural guys I know, and damn he's creative!

#3: Natural Attribute: Leadership

Early on in life I was also the center of attention of my group. I was the fastest kid in my circle and when it came to playing tag I could not be stopped. Because I gained a certain status and respect within that group, I was able to lead and dominate group conversations easily.

Leadership has its merits, and I discussed this on the team page of the website.

#4 Natural Attribute: Social Awareness

Some kids were left at home, much like most kids now are just kept inside to play with their X Boxes. Some as young as 10 years old are already surfing the web and owning their own cellphones. I didn't go through this stage. During the early 80's, I was highly encouraged to go out and play. I never wanted to stay in. I wanted to interact, meet new friends, play in the mud and get dirty.

Every week was a new interaction at school, whether in the classroom or during breaks, then after and on the weekends it was a new neighbor's kid, a new play mate, a new friend. As an active child I was very conditioned to interact with kids and understand basic conversations.

Obviously, when I grew up, meeting people came natural to me. Instead of putting pressure on myself like how it is with structured pick up, I always dominated socially FIRST... building friends and allies, and THEN via line of sight get attraction from women. I always valued meeting new friends and so women constantly saw me laughing or having a fun time.

#5 Natural Attribute: The Attitude of "Like Me or Not, Who Cares"

When you've piled up attributes 1-4, then you really have options. Neediness is gone because you've got more friends, and more women that are in your rotation. When you have that, "naturally" you risk your interactions more... which counter intuitively INCREASES attraction in more women you meet.

Having this one attitude is very, very important because it shows that you really don't put stress on whether she likes you or not (because you already have 1-4 handled), and more importantly if a girl gives you shit in any way you'll be unreactive.
How To Develop These if You Don't Have 'Em
Whether you have them or not, it should not hinder you from succeeding with women. At the end of the day, it's all about gaining experience.

Whether you're in your 20's or 30's or even your 40's, remember that it's all about putting yourself in the scenarios of childhood I just gave you and take your time amassing experience.

• If you want to become more creative, join an improv group, read books, and watch movies with crazy special effects. Buy the new Eminem CD and feel the lyrics out.


• If you want to be more curious just naturally ask questions when something piques your interest. Don't be afraid to ask how certain things are done.


• If you want to gain leadership then whatever niche or social group you have try to gain status and respect.


• If you want to not be needy, then interact with many, many, many, many people (not approach and pick them up)... I just mean interact with them.

Remember that it will take time to gain these attributes, but now I've pointed them out nothing should stop you from trying to acquire them and become "more natural" the next time you're at the bar or a party.

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