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How Do You Show Your Boyfriend That He Has Hurt You? Follow This Before Doing Anything Else

2010-08-12

Romantic relationships all have their ups and downs and we often unknowingly end up hurting each other. But if your man has hurt you then you need to show him that he has done so. Here are some of the ways by which you can tell your boyfriend and show him how he has hurt you.

Consider his temperament
Before you attempt to show him anything or do anything you have to consider his temperament. Is he the volatile sort, is he super sensitive or is he the one who is accommodating and understanding. If he is the last then you can speak to him easily. But if he is the volatile sorts then you have to look at the right time and place and then pick up the topic of discussion.

Understand that he will get defensive
You also need to know that he will get defensive when you talk to him. The first thing that will get affected is his ego so you need to play with care. Don't go on a verbal bashing spree. But be reserved in your demeanor.

Don't have any worries that your conflict will ruin your relationship
Conflicts don't ruin relationships. Not talking about them most certainly do. So you need to be sure that there is a conflict and then prepare to talk to him. Understand it is not going to be pleasant and if you feel you can't handle things, seek professional help to learn how you can do so.

Figure out how you will assert yourself
You will have to figure out a way to assert yourself if you need to tell him that he has hurt you. It can be by direct confrontation or by withdrawing completely from him. He has to first get the feelers that there is something amiss and you can do that by being cold with him.

Be clear and confident
When he talks to you about your sudden change in behavior you can tell him what has been bothering you. Don't hesitate to tell him that he has hurt you. Be clear in what you want to say and do not beat around the bush. Also don't be suggestive as that will give him a way to dodge responsibility.

Listen to what he has to say
After you have spoken give him a chance to explain himself. He might not be very clear or intensely apologetic but try to make sure that he has understood where you are coming from.

Don't expect immediate change
Lastly be patient with your man and do not expect a 180 degree change overnight. But if things don't go as expected even later head to a relationship expert and work things out.

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